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Hi.

Just over here, writing about life.  

The Mustard Seed Parable

The Mustard Seed Parable

One of the themes of my life the past six years has been, "Bloom where you are planted".

I wanted to leave Orange County the moment I arrived. I let the preconceived notions I had become realities, and settled into this place with judgements and biases. That was unfair. 

And now, our roots are taking hold - and I need to be reminded of more than just to bloom right where I am. I need to live it. And actually give in and bloom for Lawd's sake! 

I have been reminded that you CHOOSE how you see the world and your surroundings. Things are often not as bad or hard as they seem. In fact, in my life I have blessings galore and so so many things to be grateful for. 

Instead of being that stubborn seed who refuses to push up through the soil from winter, I want to be the new bud of Spring. Wow, cheesy analogy lady over here! 

I was on a walk just two days ago and took this photo of the wild mustard plants. We had them everywhere growing up, and it reminds me of being a kid. Which means I love it. I looked up the symbolism of a mustard seed and read about a parable in the Bible. I'm not one to know these things off hand - and  not one to quote the Bible, but the lesson struck me. 

The gist is this: be careful not to grow like a weed - too big too fast. 

The past few years have been a whirlwind of amazingness for me. Got married, started a business, got a house, got a puppy, and got pregnant all within two years. 

All of the things I had ever dreamed of - in fact, I realized that my dreams sort of stopped around age 29 in my mind, like I would wake up on my thirtieth birthday to a banner hanging in front of the bed that read, "And she lived happily ever after. The end." 

Disney, you bastard! While there have been far far more dreamy blessings than anything, I have experienced ups and downs too (sick parents, passing grandparents, work failures, emotional meltdowns, anxiety, fears, etc.). And I've gotten WAY too caught up in them. 

Letting them define my overall emotional state, and my identity. Oh you made a bad business decision? Then clearly you are a bad business person, and you make bad decisions. Whoa, is that what I've been telling myself? You betcha. 

How often we forget. We forget the good life we live, and instead get consumed in comparison and societal garbage, and the pressure and the expectations of how you're "supposed to do it" if you want to "do it right". There is no right. 

So it's become time for me to take the next step into shedding the perfectionism layer. This April I hope to embark on an 8 week little journey to unweave some of the things that hold me back. I'll report on it. After all the self-help books and the leadership meetings, and the good intentions, I need to get my hands dirty and sew the seeds. 

It's time. 

Motherhood at Two Weeks

Motherhood at Two Weeks

Self help, self motivation, self action

Self help, self motivation, self action